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E Pluribus Aewsome

by Attractive Eighties Women

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1.
I wanna get gay married I just don't understand why you care Why is it such a bad thing For two men to exchange rings But it's OK for them to cut your hair I wanna get gay married but you say God hates fags and we should all beware You're such a fucking hypocrite And you can't seem to admit If I go to hell, I'm sure I'll see you there Gay married Gay married I wanna get Gay married Gay married I wanna get gay married and it's no one's business but my own I'd tell you to suck my dick but it would probably make you sick cause you're such a fucking homophobe I wanna get gay married Yeah married in Westboro Baptist Church You tell all those Fred Phelps fucks That I hate their fucking guts They can take their picket signs and shove 'em up their ass Gay married Gay married I wanna get Gay married Gay married We wanna get gay married And on the day we can finally say "I do" We'll raise our middle fingers in the air Our middle fingers in the air Tell all of the theocrats "fuck you!" Gay married Gay married I wanna get Gay married Gay married
2.
Hey Bartender Pour me your stiffest drink Hey Bartender Gonna get too drunk to think You see I got this little girl Been lying to my face Running round with my friend Saw her car parked at his place Since I found out I been working on a master plan I'm DIY No need to hire a hitman You know I got it all mapped out The first step is a breeze Goin' down to Autozone To buy some Antifreeze Antifreeze Antifreeze Antifreeze I'm going to put Antifreeze in her drink It don't take much Just a swallow or two It tastes real sweet So she won't have a clue That there's engine coolant Running through her veins Fucking up her kidneys and fucking up her brain Antifreeze AKA Propylene Glycol It'll kill your ass even if the dose is small I'm gonna slip it in her drink Sit back and watch the fun It's less messy than a knife Less noisy than a gun Antifreeze Antifreeze Antifreeze I'm going to put Antifreeze in her drink
3.
Girl, we've been together for so long How could our relationship go so wrong? Now all I can do is sit and wonder why I don't want you to be my friend I'm not going to sit here and pretend There's anything left to say, except goodbye I thought we could Westley and Buttercup How could I know that you'd do something so fucked up? Now all I want you to do is eat shit and die Eat shit and die Eat shit and die All I want you to do is Eat shit and die You ain't nothin' but a two-faced liar I wouldn't piss on you if your pants were on fire Yeah, all I want you to do is Eat shit and die Now, other girls have hurt me bad But none of them have made me quite this sad My heart was the target, you hit the bullseye So I'm going to the bar to drink all night After half a dozen whiskeys I just might Figure out how our love went so awry If I had to pick the time and place I'd say it's when you fucked my friend and lied to my face Now all I want you to do is eat shit and die Eat shit and die Eat shit and die All I want you to do is Eat shit and die You're a goddamned two-faced liar I wouldn't piss on you if your pants were on fire Yeah, all I want you to do is Eat shit and die
4.
I was at the grocery store In the cereal aisle When I saw a pretty lady And I gave her a smile As I grabbed the Lucky Charms She gave me a wink I thought she looked familiar And I had to stop and think The next thing I knew She was rubbing on my chest Her tongue was in my ear And my hands were on her breasts I knew I’d seen her before Yeah, she recognized me too And that’s when it hit me She kinda looked like you I made out with your mom I made out with your mom There’s no need to be alarmed Your mom could not resist my charms I made out with your mom I know it was wrong I wish I could take it back But she just looked so sexy In those high-waist denim slacks You seem quite upset Yeah, I can tell by your face But don't worry, man I only made it to third base with your mom I made out with your mom I made out with your mom There’s no need to be alarmed Your mom could not resist my charms I made out with your mom I made out with your mom I made out with your mom There’s no need to be alarmed Just tryin' to find some Lucky Charms I made out with your mom

credits

released April 2, 2011

Produced by Attractive Eighties Women and Joel Mullis. All songs written and arranged by Attractive Eighties Women. Recorded at Fatback Sound Studio, Sandy Springs, Ga. Engineered and Mixed by Joel Mullis. Mastered by Chris Griffin at Griffin Mastering, Atlanta, Ga. Album artwork and graphic design by Mack Williams.

© 2011 Mammogram Music. Some rights reserved.

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Attractive Eighties Women Atlanta

Attractive Eighties Women sound like a cross between Molly Hatchet and an eighth grade talent show.

“Like Andy Kaufman meets the ‘Mats at the dog end of a three-day amphetamine-fueled performance art bender." - Chad Radford

"Like a tornado of two-hundred Led Zeppelins, out-of-control and bearing down on a South Georgia trailer park." - Kilgore Trout

"Them boys are swampwise." - Okefenokee Joe
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