E Pluribus Aewsome

by Attractive Eighties Women

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credits

released April 2, 2011

© 2011 Mammogram Music. Some rights reserved. Produced by Attractive Eighties Women and Joel Mullis. All songs written and arranged by Attractive Eighties Women. Recorded at Fatback Sound Studio, Sandy Springs, Ga. Engineered and Mixed by Joel Mullis. Mastered by Chris Griffin at Griffin Mastering, Atlanta, Ga. Album artwork and graphic design by Mack Williams.

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Attractive Eighties Women Atlanta

Attractive Eighties Women sound like a cross between Molly Hatchet and an eighth grade talent show.

“Like Andy Kaufman meets the ‘Mats at the dog end of a three-day amphetamine-fueled performance art bender." - Chad Radford

"Like a tornado of two-hundred Led Zeppelins, out-of-control and bearing down on a South Georgia trailer park." - Kilgore Trout

"Them boys are swampwise." - Okefenokee Joe
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Track Name: (I Wanna Get) Gay Married
I wanna get gay married
I just don't understand why you care
Why is it such a bad thing
For two men to exchange rings
But it's OK for them to cut your hair

I wanna get gay married
but you say God hates fags and we should all beware
You're such a fucking hypocrite
And you can't seem to admit
If I go to hell, I'm sure I'll see you there

Gay married
Gay married
I wanna get
Gay married
Gay married

I wanna get gay married
and it's no one's business but my own
I'd tell you to suck my dick
but it would probably make you sick
cause you're such a fucking homophobe

I wanna get gay married
Yeah married in Westboro Baptist Church
You tell all those Fred Phelps fucks
That I hate their fucking guts
They can take their picket signs and shove 'em up their ass

Gay married
Gay married
I wanna get
Gay married
Gay married

We wanna get gay married
And on the day we can finally say "I do"
We'll raise our middle fingers in the air
Our middle fingers in the air
Tell all of the theocrats "fuck you!"

Gay married
Gay married
I wanna get
Gay married
Gay married
Track Name: Prestone Cocktail
Hey Bartender
Pour me your stiffest drink
Hey Bartender
Gonna get too drunk to think
You see I got this little girl
Been lying to my face
Running round with my friend
Saw her car parked at his place

Since I found out
I been working on a master plan
I'm DIY
No need to hire a hitman
You know I got it all mapped out
The first step is a breeze
Goin' down to Autozone
To buy some Antifreeze

Antifreeze
Antifreeze
Antifreeze
I'm going to put
Antifreeze in her drink

It don't take much
Just a swallow or two
It tastes real sweet
So she won't have a clue
That there's engine coolant
Running through her veins
Fucking up her kidneys
and fucking up her brain

Antifreeze AKA Propylene Glycol
It'll kill your ass
even if the dose is small
I'm gonna slip it in her drink
Sit back and watch the fun
It's less messy than a knife
Less noisy than a gun

Antifreeze
Antifreeze
Antifreeze
I'm going to put
Antifreeze in her drink
Track Name: Eat Shit and Die
Girl, we've been together for so long
How could our relationship go so wrong?
Now all I can do is sit and wonder why

I don't want you to be my friend
I'm not going to sit here and pretend
There's anything left to say, except goodbye

I thought we could Westley and Buttercup
How could I know that you'd do something so fucked up?
Now all I want you to do is eat shit and die

Eat shit and die
Eat shit and die
All I want you to do is
Eat shit and die
You ain't nothin' but a two-faced liar
I wouldn't piss on you
if your pants were on fire
Yeah, all I want you to do is
Eat shit and die

Now, other girls have hurt me bad
But none of them have made me quite this sad
My heart was the target, you hit the bullseye

So I'm going to the bar to drink all night
After half a dozen whiskeys I just might
Figure out how our love went so awry

If I had to pick the time and place
I'd say it's when you fucked my friend and lied to my face
Now all I want you to do is eat shit and die

Eat shit and die
Eat shit and die
All I want you to do is
Eat shit and die
You're a goddamned two-faced liar
I wouldn't piss on you
if your pants were on fire
Yeah, all I want you to do is
Eat shit and die
Track Name: I Made Out With Your Mom
I was at the grocery store
In the cereal aisle
When I saw a pretty lady
And I gave her a smile

As I grabbed the Lucky Charms
She gave me a wink
I thought she looked familiar
And I had to stop and think

The next thing I knew
She was rubbing on my chest
Her tongue was in my ear
And my hands were on her breasts

I knew I’d seen her before
Yeah, she recognized me too
And that’s when it hit me
She kinda looked like you

I made out with your mom
I made out with your mom
There’s no need to be alarmed
Your mom could not resist my charms
I made out with your mom

I know it was wrong
I wish I could take it back
But she just looked so sexy
In those high-waist denim slacks

You seem quite upset
Yeah, I can tell by your face
But don't worry, man
I only made it to third base
with your mom

I made out with your mom
I made out with your mom
There’s no need to be alarmed
Your mom could not resist my charms
I made out with your mom

I made out with your mom
I made out with your mom
There’s no need to be alarmed
Just tryin' to find some Lucky Charms
I made out with your mom